Today was hard. I'm not going to lie and say that I remember everything I felt fourteen days ago, so I'm just going to talk about the last two weeks. Honestly? They've been rough. Here's an apologetic, novelistic, grovelsome post to make up for them.Valentine's Day kicked off my week of doom. The lovey-dovey in the air reminded me of how I was without a valentine for yet another year. I pinky-promised with a friend that we'd be each other's, but fourth block rolled around, and no carnation from my not-so-valentine. Tuesday and Wednesday I was off to a reluctant late start due to my closest brother, further driving a wedge between my reputation and my peers, as well as shortening my fuse. Thursday brought misery with a side of failure as my grades tanked in math and physics. Quiz grades, teachers making me feel stupid, and classmates who are just shy of brilliant combine with "Why don't I get this?!"s and "What the HELL, another 60???"s to create a perfect storm of depression and hopelessness. Add a yearbook that is no where near finished, friends who aren't so friendly, a personal life that happens to be ravaged by another, a brother who is chronically late, a lack of a car, bad weather, raging allergies, slippery hallways, make-up work, and a cloud over a usually sunny disposition and this recipe has gone terribly, terribly wrong. Friday wasn't much better, work drama consumed my evening and as I struggled to grasp with the fact that minimum wage truly sucks, I longed for my bed. Saturday brought more promise, and it made up for the week from hell. I went with L to go see M's band play. If you know me, you most likely know a great deal about M and I, and how these days we are more or less (a lot less) than friends. Nevertheless (ha ha, pun intended), L and I had a great time. I got to see S, which is always great, I talked to M's mother, a few of the band member's parents, and exchanged friendly words with my old best friend. I guess sometimes time really does heal even the worst scars. Sunday I ventured to UNH to visit a different M with S and that was so fun! We sat around with two of S and M's fellow graduates in a hallway in M's dorm for a few hours just making conversation and making each other laugh. After some much needed girl talk in the dining hall, I returned to my comfy bed, only to leave it for B's birthday party. Truthfully? Not a whole lot needs to be said about that. It was... interesting. Not bad, just not quite as jolly as any of us expected. Monday brought awkwardness with my non-valentine, as did Tuesday and Wednesday. Plans always fall through, and I spent most of this February break working, sleeping, and planning my college packing list. I don't think you'll find anyone more excited and ready to leave home. Right now. The rest of the week consisted of the aforementioned excitement. I did however get a snazzy new pair of running sneakers! Also, to compensate for my lack of motivation and the fact that I am becoming a regular recluse, I am posting more than three pictures of my various (and few) adventures this vacation. Seeing as it is 10:30 this morning and I have to work at 3, I'm going to predict a lack of anything worth blogging about later this evening and make this novel count towards today's. Because I am trying to make up for my suckish behavior in the blogosphere the last two or so weeks (it was happening before that as well, I know, I know), I'm posting some old writings I had lying around below. Oh! Also, I sent in my enrollment deposit to Brandeis, and I'm braving the sleet and ice to send my enrollment form in today! I am officially a Brandesian. I signed up for an overnight earlier this morning too. And my internet history consists of various Brandeis links, with some Facebook thrown in there. I'm so excited! And I'm really proud of everyone in my class who is taking that next step with me. We may not act like we like my fellow Toppers sometimes, but in the end we're all 2011ers. We did this together whether we like it or not, and that will always tie us together in the unique way that it does with graduating classes. Alright, enough of that academia crap. On to the musings.
First things first- my college packing list. So far, of course:
Britta water pitcher, bathrobe, shower caddy, throw rug, water filter waterbottle, reading light, iHome, desk lamp, extra-long twin sheets, egg crate mattress pad, comforter/pillows, mini fridge
tupperware, BULK SNACKIES (nom nom nom), corkboard/dry erase board, pop-up laundry hampers, extension cords/power strips, mini tool kit (basic screws, nails, hammer, tape, hooks, screwdriver), frames, micro-cassette recorder (lectures), extra hangers, electric tea kettle, iron/mini ironing board, two full-length mirrors, removable wall decals :), curling iron, yoga pants, stock up on hair stuff, misc hair things
Anyone else have anything to add? I'm looking to expand my list before July so that I can buy things on a regular basis, instead of in bulk. Cause that's craziness.
Here's the supplement I wrote for my Brandeis application:
At first glance, Brandeis University is like other colleges and universities that I have looked at. It is not the smallest school I have seen, nor the largest. It is not the most or least expensive, and it doesn’t have the biggest or smallest campus of the schools I have visited. Of all the schools that I have licked my stamps and sealed my envelopes for, I am most excited to send this application. Four years is a long time to be away from home, but from the very first step I took on campus, I felt like I was walking into a familiar memory. As I sat in the Admissions building waiting for my campus tour, I was approached by a sophomore guy. Normally, being approached by a stranger creates unsettling feelings, but instead his big welcoming grin was reassuring. We chatted for a bit about campus and dorm life until I asked him why he chose Brandeis. His answer was simple; the people. As he went on to describe the community-like feel of the university and how he felt like he had found a second family, something inside of me clicked. Of all the students that I had asked why they chose the school they chose to go to, I had never gotten that answer, which I realized was the answer I was looking for. Brandeis University isn’t just another research university focused on the liberal arts; Brandeis feels like home.
And here's my college essay itself:
Trees and Tattoos
Last June I had a dream that changed my life. I was on my way to a tattoo salon with a small peace sign in mind. After sitting in the chair and explaining what I wanted, the tiny symbol of peace began to take form just below my hairline and above the base of my neck. Each stroke of the gun was deliberate and strangely gentle, and before I knew it the tattoo was done. Odd, I thought, it took longer than I had expected. Skeptically I stood up and looked back into the mirror. To my surprise, a giant peace sign had overtaken my back. I gazed at the ink as it swirled and danced as if it were on fire. When I could find my words again, I cried out to the faceless tattoo man that it was too big and it wasn’t what I wanted but he replied earnestly “Sorry, I couldn’t help but to feel as though this tattoo was meant to be this big.” Shocked, amazed, and a little angry, I contemplated having the man remove the tattoo right on the spot. As I thought about it, I looked a little longer into the mirror. The tattoo was breathtaking. The longer I looked at the reflection, the more vivid and alive it became; miraculously morphing into a portrait of the globe. I stood there in the middle of the tattoo shop in pure awe as the art on my back changed from this sign of peace into our world. The tattoo wasn’t what I wanted, but the faceless man insisted I keep it, saying that I would appreciate it one day.
Today was the day I began to appreciate my “dream-tattoo”. Over the last year and a half, I have become very passionate about the environment and what we can do as individuals to preserve its beauty and resources. I have realized that the search for a renewable energy source that could replace crude oil has been placed on the back burner as issues like the slowly recovering economy and the war overseas are continuously featured on the front pages of our newspapers. Even though environmental issues are currently overshadowed in the media, I work to shed light on them in my everyday life. From helping to facilitate our new school-wide paper and aluminum recycling program, to carpooling, to enlightening others about the dangers of littering, I hope I am beginning to develop into a solution to the problem. In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., I wish to become the “thermostat that transforms a society rather than a thermometer that records its temperament”.
Throughout the rest of my dream, I battled with myself trying to decide whether to remove the mistake as I first thought of it, or to keep the gift the man had given me. I woke up realizing two things; even though I am only one, I carry the world on my back, and I also carry with me peace. I realized that the world may not be the seven continents, but instead my immediate world. Through the experience of college, I will gain the necessary means to transform my daily surroundings into the world in its entirety. The dream I had last June opened my eyes to an old passion and a new purpose. It is my job to do my part to take care of the world, and my part is through using the tools I have gained thus far in my life to further my education, gather more tools, and appreciate and conserve the beauty that is our world. The faceless man was right.
Now for pictures! Usually I post these at the beginning of my posts, as you know if you even read just one of my posts, but since this is extra long for all the apologies, they're at the end today.
"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." - Edmund Hillary
live simply.
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