Today was chilly. Disclaimer: I know that this post is late. I had a good internet connection for most of the night, but as I went to blog my connection decided to be anything but good, leaving me a day late and a dollar short. As I was trying to finagle my internet signal, I started thinking about y Livejournal and the fact that I had been neglecting it for almost a year. I logged in and felt myself be taken back to the end of my junior year. My last post was on the day of graduation and since this was my journal, here are my thoughts on that very day:
(June 16th. in nearly exactly one year from today i will be eighteen years of age and taking the last steps in my high school career. honestly? it scares the ever loving shit out of me to think about it. a legal adult; able to make legitimate decisions directly impacting my life and others around me, about to leave the nest for the first time. as i sit here pondering my existence on this earth the last seventeen years, i can feel my tearducts getting ready to topple over. seventeen years of beautiful people and unforgettable moments. seventeen years of smiles and tears, bad and good days, and most of all, seventeen years of breaths ive taken that have brought me to this very moment. the extensive vocabulary is of no use to me tonight; the emotions pouring out of me are entirely of their own being.
vague has never been my scene, so these next few lines will be specifics to the specific. truly, one hundred percent honesty speaking here, am i glad that you and i have reconnected. we have had more than our fair share of miscommunications, ups and downs, but to be frank, i couldn't imagine spending another day sending negative energy your way. alright, thats a lie. i can imagine it, i had been living it for the past eight months, but in the grand scheme of things, this connection was something that inevitably i wouldnt be able to deny any longer. )
I signed the end of the post with "live simply." and I realized that I am still that scared 17-year-old, just a year older. The second paragraph is still completely relevant to today as well. As senior year rolled around, I figured that someone who I have had an extensive (and roller coaster-like) history with would be one of three things to me; my mortal enemy, my significant other, or a good friend. It turns out that we're the third of the choices, which I think is the best in any case. When I started this blog, I told myself that I would quit the vague and stick to specifics. Senior year is turning out to be the best year, and in the end that's what I'll remember. Names in this case are irrelevant, facts and details unneeded. The universe has spoken, and I'm alright with that.
"When you have completed 95% of your journey, you are only halfway there." -Japanese Proverb
PS: I really miss Maryland summers.
live simply.
No comments:
Post a Comment