4:15 AM

As I approached the crack of dawn this morning, I realized that battling the tossing and turning was futile. My old friend, Restlessness had dropped by for a visit. Every hour since I had fell into dreamland was marked with the memory of my alarm clock digitally mocking me. Not even two doses of melatonin could cure my racing thoughts. But what was I actually thinking about?

College.
Friendships.
Relationships.

Life.

With such heavy topics hanging over my head over the last few weeks, I wasn't surprised when 4:15 came around and I was wide awake. Finally giving in to my old pal I opened my laptop in search of a mindless activity I was hoping could lull me back to unconsciousness. 5:15 AM came and went without hesitation as I quickly ran out of things to watch and stumble upon. Defeatedly, I opened the gates and my mind poured incessant and raging thoughts into itself.

College. The current cause of both my joy and stress, my education has become the most encompassing and isolating experiences. Submerged into this wonderful program, 40+ hours a week keep me busy and surrounded with like-minded people. I am actually applying the information I am learning about in my classes immediately to my reality which, you could guess, is very rewarding. The rest of college though- the extracurriculars, sports, friends, all that jazz- is taking a decently-sized punch to the gut. I am more than pleased that I was accepted into the EFS; this is the kind of learning that everyone should be able to experience. There is just a delicate balance that must be achieved in order to be able to fit it all in, and quite frankly I'm dangling off the high wire.

With balance comes intact friendships. With dangling comes much me-time. Aside from the 14 that I see everyday and are growing to care much for, I spend a good portion of my time having to play catch-up. Over the last few weeks, the first thing out of many of my friends' mouths upon seeing them is "Where have you been all day?". Granted, I haven't printed out my schedule and hung it on my door, but it's an interesting feeling being perceived as MIA. Makes for interesting storytime, if you can match your schedules up.

Relationships are hard. Especially those that are of the long distance kind. And that is all I have to say about that.

Life?
That's a blog post for another restless night.


live simply.