Ah, 2:36 AM. One of my oldest acquaintences, I don't see much of you these days. Tonight, however, I greet you with a somewhat clear and level head. Something you are not greeted with often, especially from me.
The weeks between this post and my last seem unbelievably distant, and I feel each of those weeks, days, hours, moments deep in my bones. Senior year, man. This is some weird shit. A time when everyone is just one gin and tonic away from absolutely losing their fucking marbles. At this point last year, I was returning from the single most ridiculous and out of this universe weeks in my life spent on the Caribbean coast of Costa Rica, in a town I can barely accept was a part of this reality.
This year is different. This is the last fall of my undergraduate career. The last September, October, November. Halfway through November and I'm still reeling: the aftermath of an ended relationship for not just the books but the silver screen for fucks sake, a lacrosse ball to the face and the subsequent concussion recovery alongside endless "athletic" injuries, the realization that #nonewfriends is #stupidasfuck, and fresh off the presses tonight: a new flame essentially flickering out. Thanks to the ever intrusive world of technology, "conversing" about our "feelings" became relegated to a late-night staring contest with a tiny rectangular screen and the tiny ellipsis that mocks iPhone users in times of "emotional" stress. As I sat under the covers of my bed, watching this small scale shit storm of insecurity and uncertainty and social pressures unravel, I remarkably reminded myself of the existence of an article I was forwarded a few weeks ago. A godsend, no really, a miraculous, unbelievably common-sense orientated nugget of wisdom, this article (and this subsequent one) punched me in the face with realization. It all essentially boils down to this: YOUR HAPPINESS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. If they/it/he/she/all the above is not gung-ho, balls-to-the-wall, ready-to-shout-from-the-rooftops-excited to be anything with you, they do not deserve a place in your life or to be blessed and graced by your presence. You always deserve a fuck yes, never anything less. Want that froyo? Fuck yes I do I'm gonna eat the shit out of that froyo. Need some time to figure out if you want to be with me? Sounds like some grey area bullshit. I think I'll take the froyo and serve you up a nice "fuck you".
In a time with all sorts of lasts, saying "Fuck yes" is crucial. Be it about making new friends, deciding on postgrad jobs, the last person you want to say goodnight to, that goddamn froyo: Fuck yes, abso-fucking-lutely no less.
Someone get me a burger and some friggen froyo.
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